


Shell Shocked

by ATLATDPSUfan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Character Death, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Nuclear Apocolypse, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Psychological Horror, Survival, lots of kouhai/senpai support
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:08:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27915778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ATLATDPSUfan/pseuds/ATLATDPSUfan
Summary: One less step. One less breath. One less thought about the past, one less second taken to glance at some insignificant speck in the distance. One less beat of a butterfly's wing.The smallest changes could result in life... or death.Hinata Shouyou is trapped. Trapped beneath the sky of his hometown in Miyagi, where buildings litter the ground and snow blankets the bodies in the street. Trapped without anyone left to protect him.Nuclear War AU.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo!  
> This is my first fic for this fandom, so keep criticism light, but I'm hoping we can go far with this story.  
> It's something akin to a cross between a gen fic and a romance, but we'll see where it goes.  
> You've read the summary, so read the story!  
> Have fun!

It was only yesterday that Hinata Shouyou biked home thinking that everything was going to be alright.

It was a quiet evening, and his arms ached from the receives he’d had to practice, but he knew it was for the better. It meant he was improving, and that was what mattered to him. He panted heavily as he reached the summit, waiting for a few minutes to slow the breaths he could see billowing in front of his face.

Kageyama had seen him off again, and he didn’t quite understand why the boy had suddenly started walking home with him until they had to part ways at the base of the mountain, but… to be honest, Shouyou never really understood much about Kageyama Tobio from the beginning. 

He could tell what Kageyama was thinking, sometimes, like in matches when he was at the top of his game, and when they could do the freakiest quicks like they were almost nothing, like the heights Shouyou could jump to were just an everyday occurrence.

That’s what Shouyou liked about Kageyama. Never underestimating him, not for his height nor his apparent lack of skill. He could be gruff about it, but he always pushed the orange-haired boy to his limits, and Shouyou did it right back.

He looked down on Miyagi for a few more moments before hopping on his bike again, working his way slowly down the other side of the mountain, almost slipping a few times before he deemed it safer to just walk down the slippery slope with the cycle by his side, stepping lightly and cautiously on wetter patches of the road.

_ Everything was oddly silent, _ Shouyou realized. So silent that the birds had stopped chirping, the rustle of the leaves almost indistinguishable. He looked around, not really paying attention to the odd quiet, still focused on his feet to make sure that he wouldn’t slip.

That’s when he collapsed to the ground when a blinding flash of light burned through the sky, when the earth shook like the ground wanted to swallow the world up from underneath him.

There were no screams, no cries, but everything happened so quickly that Shouyou didn’t have time to process it.

Perhaps if he hadn’t stalled at the summit for those few moments, he’d be dead. Perhaps if he’d not thought about Kageyama and his weird, odd mannerisms, he’d be swallowed up by the sheer weight of the sky before him.

The ground shook, the sky flared with intensity like the sun, and the beginning of the end of the world commenced.

o0o

Shouyou woke in a daze, his head pounding with pain as he heard the screaming of people from below him.

His eyes widened at that, listening to it for a moment, processing, trying desperately to get his body to move. Something dripped from the place where his head throbbed, and he touched it numbly, seeing blood. 

He dragged himself to the edge of where he stood, desperately begging his eyes to adjust faster. The mountain provided the perfect vantage point; he could see  _ everything _ .

Far, far away, there was nothing. 

_ Nothing _ .

Just a barren wasteland of debris, buildings, and electric lines completely knocked over, a charred crater in the center of it all. There were collapsing buildings surrounding it,  _ bodies, too _ . Then… more people. Alive this time. Hundreds of people, running through the streets in mobs, trying desperately to escape from… whatever was happening. 

_ What was happening? _

There were sirens, announcements. 

“ _ Get underground! _ ” the people in the speakers screamed. “ _ Don’t come out within 72 hours of the blast! This is not a drill! Get inside,  _ now _! _ ”

Shouyou’s heart leaped into his throat. 

He scrambled to his feet, fingers finding his bike. 

_ Mom. Natsu. _

He hopped onto his bike in a daze, letting go of the brakes and letting his bike pick up speed as he raced down the mountain, his neighborhood clear in his mind. He saw people running by him, screaming at him to turn around, but he didn’t do so, continuing to precariously dodge people, some of which he  _ knew _ , desperately searching for a lock of ginger hair in the sea of panic.

The people got scarcer the faster he got to his neighborhood, and Shouyou finally managed to find his voice.

“N-Natsu!” he shouted, his eyes focused on the street. He desperately wanted to find them both safe and alive, and not here. Not here, where houses were growing more and more broken and collapsed by the second. 

The momentum of Shouyou’s bike slowed as he finally spotted his little sister. 

“ _ Natsu! _ ” he cried, and she turned around with tears streaming down her face, her eyes puffy and red. Her hands were bleeding.

“ _ Nii-chan! _ ” she screamed, rushing towards him, flinching as she used her hands to try and pick herself up. “ _ Nii-chan! _ ”

Shouyou scrambled off his bike, leaving it there in the middle of the road, scooping his sister up and squeezing her tight. He could feel tears in his eyes, but he held them back, pulling his sister’s body away from his for a moment, studying her face, holding her hands gently in his.

“Natsu,” Shouyou sighed, letting a tear slide down his cheek in sheer relief before another realization hit him. “Natsu, where’s Mom?”

Natsu burst back into tears, using one of her hands, still sticky with blood to point towards the rubble of their house. “In there! She got me out but she got stuck! She called out for me but— but now— and I tried to get her out but my h-hands— and then she stopped talking to me— nii-chan, what’s happening!”

Shouyou placed his hand on hers, trying to be calm but knowing deep inside that everything would not be alright for a very, very long time. He dragged apart pieces of the rubble, touching what seemed to be Natsu’s blood trying to get the stones off of the house. He put his ears against the stones, trying desperately to listen for any sign that his mother was still there, still  _ alive _ , calling out her name in hoarse cries, tears streaming freely down his face.

She was gone. 

His mother. The person that he’d looked up to, looked after, looked towards in times of strife and times of pain… 

_ No. No, no, no _ .

He let out a guttural cry, ripping stones from their strewn places in the ground and throwing them aside, determined to find proof. If there wasn’t proof, she wasn’t dead. She  _ wasn’t dead _ . He saw Natsu move quietly behind where his bicycle leaned against another large piece of debris.

Soon after, he paused in shock and horror, scrambling back as he saw a trickle of red, spilling out of one of the cracks in the rock, a tributary in the upper course of a river.

Natsu seemed to realize it soon after, toddling over to Shouyou and holding onto him, wailing. He held on and looked around at the barren wasteland before him.

Hundreds of houses, hundreds of  _ people _ missing.

He gathered up some cans of food that he saw laying next to what used to be his house, probably from someone who was escaping and dropped them to get rid of dead weight, shoving it in his backpack and scanning the environment.

“W-we have to go, Natsu,” she seemed about to protest, but she studied his face and nodded, moving around him to cling to his back, grimacing a little as her small, bloodstained hands wrapped around his neck. Shouyou got back on his bike with minimal effort, probably because of the adrenaline rushing through his veins, and he pedaled as fast as he could back up the mountain, watching the injured and sickly being helped by members of their family but being too blinded by grief to acknowledge them.

“Close your eyes,” he murmured to his sister, who nuzzled his cheek for comfort and complied.

The ride down the mountain was numb, Shouyou desperately trying to piece together what was going on from Natsu’s blubbering recount of the events. 

_ Heat. Fire. Blinding light. A force that pushed all the buildings down. _

Where had he heard that before?  _ Where _ ?

As he reached the base of the mountain, he thought about where to head next. Where could he find shelter? A safe place, with a roof and space to work. A place with food, more food. A place with people he trusted. 

As he wracked his brain for a place,  _ any place _ , he ended up in front of the Karasuno gym.

Looking around dazedly, he noticed a pair of people, one with a bloodied baseball bat and the other with what appeared to be a piece of a metal sign that, too, was stained dark red.

He flinched, and he felt Natsu’s grip on his neck grow tighter. 

The pair grew closer, running up like they were about to attack, and Shouyou closed his eyes instinctively, not really wanting to run away because maybe he wanted to give up already. The blow that he was expecting… never came.

“ _Hinata?_ ” Tanaka’s and Nishinoya’s voices reverberated around the empty courtyard, and when Shouyou opened his eyes, tears streamed down his cheeks as he jumped off his bike, Natsu still clinging onto him and he flung his arms around his two _senpais_ , crying out in relief. They both dropped their weapons and hugged him back, Nishinoya taking a crying Natsu from him and holding her tight, putting her face into the crook of his neck as she sobbed.

“Oh my god, Hinata, we almost—” Tanaka started, cutting himself off almost immediately. “ _ Are you okay? Are you injured? _ ”

“I’m fine,  _ senpai _ ,” he said, breathing heavily as he fell to his knees in sheer relief, touching his head to see flakes of dried blood where it was sticky just hours prior. “I-I managed to find Natsu near my house and I didn’t— didn’t know where else to go. I ended up here.”

Tanaka nodded. “So did most of us. We’ve almost got the whole team here. Daichi, Suga, Asahi, Tsukki, Yamaguchi… even Yachi.”

Shouyou’s legs felt like jelly, then, and Nishinoya looped his arm around his shoulders and led him to the doors of the gym, setting down the baseball bat and unlocking them one by one.

Tsukishima was the first to speak, funnily enough. 

“Took you long eno— oh, god, Hinata, is that you?” he made a movement towards them, limping to grab his little sister, who was rubbing her eyes while studying Shouyou’s face and body, lifting his arms to see if there was any bleeding, other than his obvious head wound. “You’re okay, good. Is… is this your sister?”

“Y-yeah,” Shouyou managed, dropping to his knees to be swarmed by the Karasuno team. Looking at Tsukishima further, he noticed that his leg was in a splint, and he was walking using a stick. Suga placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him another once-over before speaking to him gently as if it would scare him if he were to talk gently. He seemed fine, if not a little shaken up, and so did the rest of the team, well, what was left of it. “Where’s… where’s Kageyama?”

Sugawara and Tsukishima looked at each other pointedly, and Tuskishima shrugged. 

“He hasn’t shown up yet,” Suga said, though he seemed optimistic. “He’s probably somewhere far, far away, though. I think he’ll be alright.”

Shouyou nodded deliriously, moving towards Tsukishima almost instinctively and wrapping his arms around him, just needing to hold someone, needing the warmth of skin and the secureness of a heartbeat. 

Tsukishima flinched, uttering a pronounced “tch,” but wrapped his arms around Shouyou anyway, rubbing circles into his back soothingly with one hand while still holding his sister, murmuring frustratedly to the rest of the group as they sighed in endearment. “If anyone talks about this  _ ever again _ , I won’t hesitate to poke this cane into your eyes.”

Shouyou sighed again, murmuring thanks as Tsukishima let out another annoying sound at Suga’s “aww”s, though he never did seem to let go, almost in the understanding of the sheer trauma that everyone had gone through.

The moment was over when Shouyou pulled away, a smile tugging at his lips and about to utter another gratuitous phrase when Tanaka buried himself into an unwilling Tsukishima’s arms a second later, loudly talking all the while.

Natsu waddled towards Shouyou again, settling in his arms with a cough that seemed to wrack her body, making the Karasuno team look up in worry. 

“I’m  _ tired _ , nii-chan,” she murmured, and Shouyou let her settle into him, even though she was much too heavy to be carried now. She was out like a light, her breathing evening out quickly aside from the stray cough here and there.

Daichi and Suga sidled up to him, followed by Yamaguchi and Yachi, then the rest of the people there, straggling for warmth in the cold December months. Soft sighs of comfort were echoed by everybody.

Shouyou closed his eyes… and drifted off.

o0o

“ _ —Niigata and Miyagi have been hit by the so-called Seven Shooting Stars, the final name for the seven bombs dropped on Japan, with a staggering 1.5 million dead and 3 million injured and unaccounted for in Miyagi alone. The nations in the UN deny any and all involvement in these attacks, blaming it on a terrorist organization in another country, _ ” the news reporter in Tsukishima’s solar-powered radio said gravely. “ _ We recommend everyone stay indoors, in the shelter, until 72 hours have passed… at least. Make sure you’re away from any of the harder-hit regions and underground if possible. Stay safe and stay calm out there, the other nations are sending help, though our government is still in shambles. We will get through this, Miyagi, just hold on. _ ”

“Seventy-two hours, huh?” Shouyou chewed on a canned peach from the food he’d brought, everyone taking a piece. Natsu was letting Yamaguchi put her hair into pigtails as she yawned in Shouyou’s direction. “That’s… three days. Do you think our food’ll last?”

“Noya and Tanaka looted one of the abandoned stores in the area,” Daichi said, glancing toward them with an indecipherable expression on his face. “We tried to get some fresher food, like a fruit, but they kept making us sick. Canned food seems to be unaffected, though, so it’s a good thing you managed to bring more, Hinata.”

Shouyou smiled weakly at Daichi, who returned a grin just as taut.

“The Seven Shooting Stars,” Yachi murmured, swallowing her piece of canned peach. “How sickeningly… playful. They’re not the kind of stars I’d like to wish on, for sure.”

The rest of the team collectively nodded while they finished their small meal, splitting up to do their collective tasks. Shouyou hadn’t been assigned one, yet, as the run and bike from up and down the mountain had weakened him significantly, so he was in charge of taking care of his sister, which he didn’t mind in the slightest. 

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi moved past him, glancing at Shouyou for a moment with affirming nods in his direction. 

There was no mention of the hug, an actual  _ hug _ , from Tsukishima, and Shouyou thought he wanted to keep it that way, though Yachi walked up to him quite quickly after the incident with an adorable sketch of the two of them on the notebook she carried everywhere.

She’d been slowly logging what the group had been doing for the past few days, much like she had been as a manager, questioning Shouyou about his perspective on what happened after the Star on Miyagi in his area, gently asking follow up questions while skirting touchy subjects like his mother. She  _ was  _ always the more empathetic person on the team, and Shouyou was grateful for it.

Asahi was one of the first to get to the gym, living close by, followed almost instantly by Nishinoya and Tanaka. They had huddled together in a corner when they saw the flashing lights, closing their eyes when the flashes took place. Apparently, they’d burned through the sky in blinding white light, and announcements later told people not to look at them if there were any more bombs, saying that it could  _ actually  _ blind you.

Daichi and Suga soon followed, rendezvousing at their usual spot before being swept up by the people in the street, ending up in the only safe place they knew to find the doors locked from the inside. After some shouting and recognition from the other side of the door, they were let in too. 

Yachi and Yamaguchi found each other quite quickly, and, on their way to Karasuno, they saw Tsukishima just… standing in the street a few hours later. After a few minutes, they finally managed to coax him back and into the gym as well, but he seemed so… out of it.

Little Natsu was, of course, thriving, though the others in the team worried for her health, just a little. She’d vomited recently, and had a perpetual headache, but they all just suspected she’d eaten some genetically changed food of some kind and told Shouyou not to worry about it too much.

He didn’t, instead watching Natsu play with one of Yamaguchi’s makeshift figurines that he’d made for her as he sat on the windowsill, chuckling slightly at her as she tossed it in the air but failed to catch it.

One of her prime accomplishments was being first in her gym class, but she didn’t seem to be at the top of her coordination game today.

Kageyama still hadn’t shown up, and Shouyou was beginning to worry about him, instead, keeping an eye out for him every chance he got. His partner was tough, but he didn’t know how long he’d last out there in the wasteland that was Japan.

He was alive. He had to be. 

They had a bet, after all.

He wondered whether they’d go out and look for him, maybe after the three days probation.

“Oi,” Noya greeted Shouyou, breaking him out of his stupor. “You alright?”

He nodded, smiling as Natsu ran up to Noya and positioned herself on his shoulders. They all chuckled, but Nishinoya’s face went serious after a moment’s pause.

Shouyou felt panic rise in his system, getting up off of the windowsill, his heart rate picking up. He felt the onslaught of adrenaline pumping through his body quickly, and he felt almost dizzy from the sudden panic.

“Hey, hey, it’s nothing serious,” Nishinoya seemed to notice Shouyou’s sudden agitation, raising one of his hands while keeping the other fastened to Natsu’s leg where she was sitting. “I just think Natsu’s a little bit warm. I think we should ask Suga if we can use the thermometer to check on her, just a little. Don’t worry, I don’t think it’s anything serious.”

o0o

Turns out, it was a little serious.

“Natsu might have radiation poisoning,” Suga said quietly, flipping through a medical manual, one of many books that they’d stolen from the library on an escapade not too many hours ago. “The signs are all there, Hinata. Headache, fever, vomitings.”

_ Radiation poisoning.  _

This… this, Shouyou knew about. A delayed reaction after the bombs that hit Hiroshima and Nagasaki, killing hundreds that were thought to be okay in slow, painful ways.

“W-what?” Shouyou’s stomach dropped, his grip tightening on his sister’s hands. “No… that- that can’t be possible, she wasn’t that badly affected, she wasn’t even that close to the b—”

“There’s a cure, right?” Asahi asked gently, hopefully, placing a hand on Shouyou’s shoulder and giving it a quick squeeze. Suga’s expression betrayed the words that were soon to come. He shook his head.

“There’s no definitive cure for it, except to get some rest and a balanced diet, and that’s if the case is mild,” Suga tried to reassure him, his eyes searching for something else in other manuals, but Shouyou’s mind was already in overdrive.

“She’s all I have left,” Shouyou murmured, sorrow apparent in his voice but eyes dry and wide. “My only family— why?  _ Why? _ ”

“Nii-chan?” Natsu asked quietly and confusedly, pulling on his sleeve as Shouyou held her tighter. “What’s happening?”

Asahi tried to take her in his arms, noticing Shouyou’s sudden shift in body language, but he took that as a sign of threat, holding her tighter to his chest with a hiss that seemed almost animalistic.

He was panicking, he realized, and he was panicking… a lot. Shouyou’s breathing was heavy, a snarl emanating from his throat like one of a rabid dog backed into a corner. Asahi took a few steps back, while Natsu continued to tug on Shouyou’s shirt, still trying to get his attention. Shouyou’s heart rate was climbing rapidly, and he felt his throat close up.

“There has to be a way,” he growled, looking at Suga with empty eyes that were still somehow filled with emotion. “This can’t be it. It can’t.”

Suga took a deep breath, stepping forward with a gulp and grabbing Shouyou by the shoulders, startling him before he was pulled into a hug. 

Frustration filled him, images of his mother’s blood in the wreckage of his once-home flashing through his head like a slideshow, snapshots of glimpses of bodies littering the streets and  _ Natsu’s  _ body among them.

He cringed at the thoughts, burying his face into the crook of Suga’s neck. 

He noticed Suga’s quick glance up to Daichi, and he saw the confusion and unknowingness in his eyes. Natsu was equally confused, murmuring a small “I feel nauseous, nii-chan,” before being taken out of his hands by Asahi who murmured to try and distract her.

They were all so young. Suga wasn’t even a full adult yet… and they were struggling, all of them, and now… now this? The almost imminent death of someone so small and fragile and helpless who they’d just taken under their wing? 

All they could do was hold each other… and hold on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys :0  
> Sorry for the really late update, but I just had a very stressful overseas move in the middle of a pandemic, so I hope you can understand. Anyways, I won't keep you reading up here for long.  
> Enjoy~

There truly wasn’t anything to do but spend time with Shouyou’s little sister and make her final moments comfortable. 

Natsu was young, but she’d quickly gauged that she wasn’t feeling right and wouldn’t be for a long time, so she held her own with her brother’s teary eyes that he tried his best not to let her see.

She’d spent a lot of time with Shouyou, but Natsu had liked the other members of her brother’s volleyball team long before any of this had happened, like when they visited for his seventeenth birthday. 

She was especially partial to the first-years, even Tsukishima, perhaps because she was too young to notice the soft, half-hearted jabs in her direction.

Shouyou was terrified at the notion that his sister could be… gone in a few days, but he’d kept it out of his mind this long, so another 36 hours wouldn’t be a problem. 

Yachi and Yamaguchi tended to spend more time with them after that, making sure that Natsu was feeling okay and checking in on Shouyou as well, though they’d tried to keep it more discreet at first, which made him a little annoyed.

Shouyou wasn’t stupid. 

He wasn’t stupid (well, not with people; studies were a different thing entirely), and he wasn’t all that childish, either. Maybe at times, on the court, with Kageyama, but he wasn’t inherently a child. He knew when to snap out of it… when to step up, when to calm his fire, and when to comfort his friends. He understood when Tanaka stepped towards the corners of the gym, glancing out of the windows longingly when even the outspoken, boisterous soul needed a break from the world. He understood when Yamaguchi and Tsukishima drew away from the chatter and sat silently in their own claimed corner of the communal space. He understood when they all huddled together without words or reason, didn’t talk or complain when someone nuzzled against his arm pushed it into a position that would surely hurt in the morning.

Perhaps the others understood, too. They understood that this shouldn’t have been happening to them, to mere teenagers who had to fend for themselves in a world where fresh food would make them sick, where water sources were few and far between, where the very people they’d known, neighbors and friends alike, warred with them over nutrition and territory.

They’d been pushed deeper inside the gym the next two days, receiving reports of the repercussions of radiation and names of survivors (as well as... the unlucky ones) on Tsukishima’s solar radio, prompting Tanaka to threaten smashing it after seeing the obvious stress it put on the third-years.

Natsu grew steadily worse as those days progressed, sometimes refusing food and water altogether in her perpetual daze, which had made Suga and Daichi panic and fetch Shouyou to talk her down, and it almost always worked, save for a few really bad moments.

Shouyou was almost constantly worried, always offering to accompany others as they did their collective chores to keep the gym livable for the time being to distract himself from the inevitable.

Eventually, Natsu got too weak to even stand, and that was when all chores were abandoned, the group instead coming to accompany her in shifts to tell her stories and keep her company.

Unsurprisingly, the first years were the ones to stay by her side the longest, the ones to touch Shouyou by the arm comfortingly, the ones to rub the small girl’s back while she expelled bile from the meals she’d eaten only hours before, and Shouyou was grateful for their support.

The second and third years, on the other hand, risked their own lives, braving the alleged radiation to try and figure out what could be done for her, never once believing that this would have been inevitable (which had previously earned Shouyou a slap in the face when he’d voiced those very thoughts), and escaped the gym in the early hours of the mornings to try and find an unlooted medical shop to find painkillers, ransacking libraries for medical journals.

Kageyama, after two days of Shouyou being here in the gym, still hadn’t shown up at all, not even a sign from Tsukishima’s radio to tell them if he’d been found as a survivor… or someone who hadn’t been so lucky.

Suga had patted him on the shoulder and said that it was best that they hadn’t heard that he wasn’t alive, because that meant he was still out there. Out there, roaming the wasteland of Miyagi… somewhere. 

Tanaka was ever the more silent, spending the hours that the government broadcasted the names of the dead and the living in the hopes that he wouldn’t hear his sister’s, fists clenched as he huddled in the corner, almost always alone except for when Shouyou and Natsu decided to join him for the rest of the time (at least when Natsu was able to move without a dizzy spell, which were times that were few and far between).

Shouyou was stressed, to say the least, but having his friends around him helped immensely… though they were also a sore reminder of the fact that he didn’t have any more family to go back to.

His father, packed away and gone before Shouyou could get a clear memory of his face, the only real photo of him showing a tattered suit and a bandaged jaw, his eyes and hair torn off in a fit of rage and grief from his mother, though they’d suspected that he was the one whose genes supplied the curly orange locks that Shouyou sported now.

His mother. Who died painfully, slowly. Died saving his little sister who was already so close to joining her.

“No,” Suga’s voice chides in his head. “We’re doing everything we can, and your mindset isn’t helping our case, Hinata. She’ll be okay; we’ll make sure of it.”

Shouyou almost smiled, his lips quirking up as he exhaled a huff of breath, causing the other first-years who were seated next to him to glance up worriedly.

“Are you okay?” Yachi asked, concern evident on her face. Shouyou simply nodded, taking his sleeping sister’s hand in his own, surprised to find her hands cool and firm. He faintly felt her pulse from the small fingers, and it calmed him somewhat to find it steady and matching his own. 

Yamaguchi put a hand to Natsu’s forehead, and Shouyou saw his shoulders sag in visual relief as he took his hand off of her. 

“Her fever broke,” he murmured, smiling up at Tsukishima who only pushed his glasses further up his face, perhaps to hide a relieved grin of his own. “Oh, thank god, her fever broke! I’ll tell Suga!”

“It’s about time,” Tsukishima muttered, touching Natsu’s arm as well (as if making sure that Yamaguchi’s claim was reliable) and, satisfied, he shuffled backward to join him on the wall, sneaking in a health-hearted jab. “The demon’s younger sister wouldn’t have a problem healing up after something small like that.”

Shouyou couldn’t find it in himself to be offended by the remark; his relief was too great. Too much was at stake. His only family, almost taken from him by a disease nobody could treat. He took his sister’s hand, still eternally grateful for the coolness of her skin, and gave it a small squeeze. She was a fighter, too. Just like him, just like his mother. 

Sighing, Shouyou let himself be taken by his mind, imagining delicious onigiri, miso ramen, literally anything that wasn’t cold, semi-tasteless ration; something steaming hot that lit up his mouth, something spicy, even.

He shook his head, snapping him out of his daze before he could fantasize even more about delicious food, resolving to instead use this time to think about what they would do after the three-day ban on leaving shelter was lifted.

He’d look for Kageyama, Shouyou thought. He’d find him, wherever he was.

He’d find him, and then they could play volleyball like they used to. The smaller games that Tanaka and Nishinoya hosted were always welcome, but Suga and Noya’s sets weren’t nearly as accurate as his partner’s, which proved a challenge when they’d tried to pull off the freak quick, earning a few hundred apologies from Suga when he’d missed Hinata’s hand. 

He really was being babied by those precise sets, Shouyou realized, and, even though Kageyama’s absence left a void only his odd presence could fill, Shouyou reveled in the improvements he made when he could hit a misplaced ball over the net or receive a hard-hit serve. Kageyama really was a genius in that aspect (though his grades, like Shouyou’s, were a different story entirely; Kageyama’s were somehow worse than his own), and the Tokyo training camp only seemed to enhance those abilities, to challenge everyone instead of completely changing himself for the others. 

Shouyou took real pride in being able to read his oddly conveyed emotions, often teasing Kageyama for his ineptitude partaking in social cues, and he was often fondly referred to as an ‘instruction manual’ when he voiced what he was noticing.

Anyway, why was he spending so much time thinking about him? It’s not like they were friends before this year, and Kageyama was still as rude and blunt as always, though their mutual understanding and love of volleyball helped to shorten the undeniable rift between them.

They were probably friends, Shouyou supposed, since they spent most of their free time together, though a more accurate word could be… partners.

Yes, that was it.

Partners. 

o0o

When Natsu awoke three hours later, the results were promising. Suga had a smile on his face instead of the usually worried glances at Shouyou that he tried to hide, and Yamaguchi spent time reading children’s storybooks to his sister as, for the first time in 36 hours, Shouyou slept soundly.

He didn’t dream, surprisingly; he just sort of… floated in a vast black space. Suspended. Weightless. Almost like he was breathing underwater… or flying. 

Flying seemed cooler, so he left it at that and opened his eyes hours later.

He’d managed to prop himself up against the wall in a position uncomfortable enough to get a crick in his neck, but nothing really amounted to the weakness in his knees when he saw Natsu from across the room bounding over to him.

She wrapped her arms around Shouyou’s neck, squeezing with a ferociousness that trumped her weakness that she’d exhibited in the days following their mother’s… passing. 

He didn’t really think about that anymore.

The team that he new recognized almost as his new family was ecstatic, Nishinoya and Tanaka offering to teach her how to receive and spike, moving the net down making it brush the floor so the small girl could try, with Daichi and Suga keeping a watchful eye but still glancing at each other with proud but relieved smiles. 

“Nii-chan,” Natsu waved him over from where he was seated on the floor. “Where’s Tobio-chan? I want him to set for me. Tanaka-senpai and Noya-senpai keep telling me how good he is!”

“Ah, he’ll be here soon,” Shouyou didn’t notice the tired smile that formed on his face until Yachi noticed and came over to see what was happening. “He’s trying to be safe, remember? After the Stars, everyone needs to stay home until the radiation is over.”

Natsu thought about it for a moment, brows furrowing and making a cute little worry line right in the center of her forehead before nodding determinedly and wandering over to listen to the quiet music that Tsukishima was playing on his radio.

It was almost ritual at this point, even with Natsu being ill.

Everyone would sit together at exactly seven in the morning, shoulders pressing against each other surrounding the radio, listening for lost loved ones looking for their families. The tense air that formed each morning was almost electrifying, everyone listening intently for one of theirs. 

His mother hadn’t been called yet, but… honestly, he was glad that she wasn’t. It would mean that he would have to confront his own feelings, his own grief. Now, when there was work to be done and food to be found and medicine to be collected, there was no time for that.

Nobody else’s family had been mentioned either… though some of them were already long gone. 

Asahi’s older sister was hit by one of the cars of people desperately trying to escape, though he put on a brave face for the first years.

Surprisingly, everyone seemed calm for a few days after the curfew was lifted. They didn’t leave, though, because the streets were soon flooded with gunshots and screams of pain. Shouyou didn’t exactly understand how the third years had expected this, but he stayed put and silent, cupping a hand over his mouth to muffle his breathing as they tried to knock down the door of the gym, glad that it was barricaded by the volleyball poles.

He hoped that the first time would be the last, but to no avail. It happened again five days later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave kudos and comments! I really appreciate the feedback and the kind words <3


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